Kittentroducing…

Hah – do you see what I did there?

KITTENtroducing?

What?

That doesn’t really work?

Well I don’t care and I have kittens on the brain so let’s just pretend that was one of the best word plays in the whole goddamn world and move on.

Because I need to introduce you to the newest additions to the Dust Lounge family.

And they are small balls of noisy, furry chaos.

They are slinky demons from the depths of hell, with cunning plans for world domination.

And they also occasionally fall off the sideboard.

Because these are The El Dudes. (Yes, I know there’s grammatical problems with that, but they are linguistic mavericks and pay no heed to these multi-language-rules).

And when The El Dudes are working on first name terms you can call them Diesel and Mole.

They’re brothers, and they look after each other, but they’re also very different. They’re like Pinky and the Brain. Only, they’re cats.

First up we’ve got Diesel. He’s a tank of a cat, eats like there’s no tomorrow, and chases balls like he’s a dog (unless he’s on camera). He’s a sucker for attention and won’t leave you alone until he’s satisfied that you’ve shown him the amount of attention he deserves. This involves trying to eat your phone, your hair or your laptop, and making sure that he is directly under your feet whenever you walk anywhere.

Then we’ve got Mole. He’s the smaller of the two, and a sneaky sprout. He’s the one plotting in the background, trying to climb onto everything, a lover of drawers and the tops of DAMN WELL EVERYTHING. He likes shoulders, climbing and screaming on the hour every hour in the middle of the night.

They like curling up together by the radiator, and when Mole decides he wants to start shouting to wake Diesel up, Diesel always gets up to check that Mole is ok.

And they are goddamn just the most adorable little slinky beasts of chaos EVER. And, of course, they’re already prepping to pick up where The Beast left off and continue ripping up the carpet in FlashDogs HQ.

There will, of course, be more kitten news, but for now, they’re dropping by to say hello, in strange screaming sounds that sound sort of like Geiger counters. Because, if you can squeak like a gremlin why the hell wouldn’t you, right?

Mole and Diesel

 

Grind Spark – out now

Longlisted for the Bath Novel Award 2014, Grind spark is a near-future dystopian novel about growing up in the years leading up to the end of the world. It’s about pretending to be the perfect family. It’s about whether you want to survive. Treat your eye portals. Pick up your copy here.

Write your wordage

%d bloggers like this: